fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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