I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
