So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
