): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
