Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
