If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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