Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
