i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
