just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
