Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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