i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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