JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
