worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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