Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
