if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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