Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
