Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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