it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
