I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
