the new term for farting is butt boxing.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
