Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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