this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
