I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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