Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
