I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
