Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish you could order shots online.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
