I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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