He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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