I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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