Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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