NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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