Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
