im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
