Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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