You just made me feel so damn special
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
