I didn't shave. On purpose
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
