I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
