i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We smell like vodka and hangover
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