I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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