Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
