We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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