my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
