Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He passed out mid-signature
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
