Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
