The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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