you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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