Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
