I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
