It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
