So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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