He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
