clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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