I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
