is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
