Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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