I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize