So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
