they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
