He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
