I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Randomize
