Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sext me about skeletons
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
