the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
do nipples grow back?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
