It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
