yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
