Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
