Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and she was petting her beer can
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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