She's JV to your varsity
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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