I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
