I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
