Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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