i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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