i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
