Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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