i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
